


King of Hearts

by soulgusttheguardian



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:32:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulgusttheguardian/pseuds/soulgusttheguardian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiding secrets is what we do here. But sometimes it gets hard when there are so many to keep. {Alec centre. Malec, Jalec, OCxAlec. Semi AU.}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. King of Pain

**Author's Note:**

> So it'll be explained but sort of as a into- there are a lot more shadowhunters and so quite a few OCs. None of them are very important except Jason and Damien. 
> 
> I'm not sure how to write Sebastian so I just sorta made him ooc, I apologize for that. 
> 
> Also Simon and Clary and Luke and Jocelyn are all shadowhunters at the Institute currently.
> 
> And my last note! The people are anthro. I know a lot of people hate that but I drew Alec as one and he was cute and it gave me good ideas so yeah.

I never believed in anything but my own strength.

Anything can let you down, but I know I can count on myself. I can count on the raw will to fight and survive and live to save me.

My mother used to tell me sometimes that if you have someone to fight for-to protect-that you will be that much stronger.

I didn't believe her.

Love is just a fool's dream.

+++++

My footsteps were quick as I rushed down to the main foyer. My team was all there- and I gasped with relief. It was short lived however, because of a rather noticeable lack of Jace's pant leg and a huge gash on his flesh. Isabelle was reprimanding him as she and Simon drug him into the Institute. His lips were stained bloody but they were still smirking and I wanted to slap him. Instead I clutched at my Parabatai rune and willed it to stop aching.

At the bottom of the steps I turned and followed them as they headed to the infirmary. "Is he okay?" I asked, feeling my ears twitching with worry. 

Isabelle nodded. Her white and black tail was bleeding as well, but she didn't seem too bothered by it.

In the infirmary, Simon laid Jace down on a bed and started to peel back the leather of the unconscious boy's pants so we could see the extent of the damage. Isabelle shoved a hasty, scribbled list at me before joining. 

The healing supplies were in the basement, so I knew the unspoken command and headed down there without instruction. The only thing that really bothered me about the basement was the chill it always had. No matter how hot, you could always count on these old stones and bricks to have captured water and keep you cool. Seeing how it was already cold though, I didn't much enjoy having the extra added.  
Huffing, I pulled my vest against me and set out for the supply closet.

The things Isabelle wanted were common and probably already up upstairs. My gut churned at that. She had sent me away again, thinking I wouldn't want to be there to see Jace being operated on. 

I cursed under my breath, using one hand to brush back my hair. The other took a roll of bandages from the shelf and a pair of scissors. Those were tucked into one of my vest pockets and I set about looking for the rest of the things. The dust was almost unbearable down here, and it didn't help when you're knocking stuff around (and who even thought a rug was a good idea down here?) and having to blow dust off to read half the labels.

"Good grief." I hissed. "Why the hell can't Isabelle get her own stuff?"

Vaguely I registered footsteps and then the door slammed shut. Familiar whistling came echoing down the halls, near where I was.

"Alec?"

"In here." I replied. The person took a few more steps before peering into the conclave where I was. Sebastian's fur was bright red from the snow outside, and his eyes were slightly watered. "Is it windy?"

He nodded. "Very. What are you doing?" He eyed my movements around the room for a bit before I answered.

"Isabelle sent me to get stuff. She didn't want me in there while Jace was being healed." My tone was slightly short. Sebastian nodded curtly in response.

"In her defense... You did kind of freak out last time."

I straightened up from where I had been looking on the bottom shelf and turned to him with an unamused glare. He chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender. 

"He's my Parabatai, I feel myself hurt when he is. How am I not supossed to freak out?" 

Sebastian grinned at me. His face lowered just enough so he was making eyes contact through his bangs. "What?" I asked, snarling.

He shrugged. "Nothing, nothing. You're too upright. You need to relax." He made a move toward me and grabbed onto my shoulder; where he began to very roughly push his fingertips. I winced, my tail curling with displeasure. "Alec you're stiff as a board!" He teased. "You really need to relax." 

Both his hands now moved to the base of my neck and began the repetitive motion of pressing in a circle, then easing, then pressing again. Instinctively I bunched them and sighed while my eyes slipped shut. Sebastian's fingers were cold, and slightly wet from the snow outside, and even through my thick vest I could feel that his claws were barely covered in ice. Nevertheless something about this chill was nice, comforting- relaxing.

A laugh made me open my eyes and I stared up at my friend for a second after questioningly. He tipped his head and laughed again. "I thought you had gone to sleep."

"Not yet." I sighed. The pain in my rune was throbbing and I once again went to rub at it. 

Sebastian's hands moved back to my shoulder blades and he pushed them against me with a force that made me stumble slightly. "Sorry." He murmured. "Feeling better?"

I shook my head. "What is it?" He continued.

"Jace is just..." I raised my eyebrows as I thought of an appropriate word. "An idiot. And I'm left to wonder if he'll live on a regular basis,"

"You don't have a choice." Sebastian responded gently. "If he dies-" 

"I know."

"So it is natural to worry." His words halfway slipped past my hearing, as I was feeling my exhaustion take over. 

I groaned, frustrated, and stepped back from him to continue collecting my things. Once I had finally found the last one, I left the basement casually; swiftly. Sebastian didn't say anything or follow me, but I felt his eyes and it made me uncomfortable.

++++

In the infirmary, Isabelle took what I had collected and pretended she needed it; but I saw the tense in her uncovered shoulders that suggested she knew I had caught on to her. Simon was across the room dabbing a wet cloth on my Parabatai's forehead. 

"Isabelle he is feeling less feverish." The glassesed boy noted with a glance over at us. His dark hair was matted with water and his sweatshirt was dripping a huge puddle underneath him. In an instinctual effort to dry off he flicked his ears multiple times and reached back to wring out his tail with one hand. 

My sister dropped the scissors onto the counter and then took the strips of bandages to the bed. Jace looked like he was going to be sick; twitching in his sleep and eyes flickering behind his eyelids. I cursed under my breath. Why hadn't I gone with them? This wouldn't have happened.

My hands went to my shoulders as I tried to relax myself like Sebastian had just done in the basement. It didn't work. I was shaking too much; biting my lip and holding down cries of pain as my bonding rune pulsed and ached. Jace was in dear trouble. I knew he was hurt, but this...

A shocked gasp left my lips when a hand not my own touched my side and directed me from the room. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed who it was, though that did nothing to console me.

The walk down the halls was silent and uncomfortable. My father didn't say anything to me; didn't try to console me; didn't try to tell me my adopted brother-his adopted son-would be okay. He just stared ahead and occasionally I heard him sigh. 

As we neared my room, the hand let go of me and I heard him stop walking so I did as well to turn and face him. It had been several months since we had seen him and this was his hello? Disappointment was so often with him that I hated how it raged in my chest now; followed swiftly by the urge to smack him. Last time I had seen him he had been insulting me and my siblings; over what I can't even recall- but I can feel the sting of his hissed words like they were being branded onto my forehead at this moment.

"Alexander." Was the first thing he spoke. His voice was the same as last time. Apathetic and cold. Empty.

Disgusted.

Right. That's what the argument had been about.

The sudden realization made my ears lay flat back against my hair; and I narrowed my eyes as I straightened and squared my shoulders at him. He just blinked, as though Jace wasn't dying and I wasn't-

"Why did you allow Jace to get hurt?"

The anger was evident in his voice. That's right. Because even though he hated Jace he hated me more and could at least praise my blonde brother for being so noticeable.

"I wasn't with them." I snapped. "I couldn't do anything."

His eyebrows raised. "So you're blaming this on your sister?"

"No. But how do you expect me to do-"

"Alexander," now he sounded completely pissed. Part of me was satisfied. Part of me was not. "Tell me what happened."

I glared at him, feeling a growl bubble out of my throat. "I wasn't there. How should I know?"

"Why weren't you there?"

"I had no choice." My response was quick and short; clipped off the edge of my patience. 

His eyes sparked with interest and dissatisfaction and distrust. Of course. Can't believe anything a fag says.

"Just because I keep secrets doesn't mean I'm a liar!" I continued with a step forward. I dug my claws into my own palms instead of his face. "I had to stay here. We didn't know where we would be ambushed, so I stayed-"

"Jace would not leave his weakest team member alone." My dad spat back. His eyes were shadowed by his bangs; which I only now realized probably hadn't been cut in a long time. The dark fur around them looked tidy as usual, never mind the snow and wind. He must have used a portal. 

"I'm not weak." 

"You are."

I felt my hand twitch. I desperately wanted to catch my claws in that stupid smirk and tear his lips. See how he likes that. My own lips trembled slightly at the reminder of the bruising punch I had received there last time.

With a snap of breath, I turned and began to finish the walk to my doorway. When Robert called after me I ignored him until I was inside, then made a point of slamming the door. His angry voice rose for just a second before he cursed and left; his footsteps thudding down the hall. 

"I'm gonna be in trouble later." I mumbled to my myself. My head rolled back as I stretched my shoulders; a sound of irritation passing my lips as I curled my toes and leaned back onto the balls of my feet. It didn't really matter anyway though, because no matter what I did my dad would always hate me. Without the knowledge of me being gay he had for some reason has something against me every time I saw him. Be it because I had let Isabelle get wet during a rain storm or I didn't help my mother with something, (never mind that she is a Shadowhunter and perfectly capable of carrying one bag by herself) it didn't matter. But now he knew my secret and everyday I had seen him since had been hell. 

I slowly leaned back against one of the bedposts, hands grabbing it behind me to keep from falling one way or another off it, and with a soft sigh I let my eyes fall shut. 

The only place I had peace anymore. 

My dreams.

++++

A wild tiger was crashing through the halls of the Institute. On his heels was a tall, bruised wolf with blazing eyes and broad shoulders leading down to a slender waist. The wolf's face was bleeding and his breath was jerky. His chest was torn.

He was going to die.

His dark fur and short black hair looked familiar to me as I watched. And he collapsed against the wall before he could run any farther. I tried to approach; to call; to help- but before I could figure out why I couldn't another figure appeared. Caped in black leather all I could see of his face were yellow eyes that shone like brilliant diamonds. He crouched by the wolf and a few words were exchanged before the man in the cloak shhed him. His finger's fur was a deep yellow, and from them burst blue sparks that scattered around like they had their own mind before disappearing into the injury on the wolf's chest. I watched in awe as the wound stitched itself and the bleeding stopped almost instantly. 

The man with magic suddenly whirled to look at me. He was on his feet in seconds and grasping at my neck to pull me close to him.

"You don't belong here!" He hissed dangerously.

"I'm sleeping!" I responded nervously; shaking when more sparks came from his fingers.

His eyes softened and more a moment I swore he was grinning as he leaned away. "Then my apologies. Please sleep in peace."

The sparks circled my face and sank into my forehead; ripping a scream from my lips. It didn't hurt. But the sparks made me feel numb and I could feel them worming in my brain as they left trails of non-feeling behind them. Drowsiness overcame me swiftly and without warning. The man in the robe took me in his arms and lowered me to the ground as my body lost control and feeling. My heart fluttered wildly. 

"Sleep, Nephilim." He murmured. 

And I did.

++++

I woke up with the strange feeling of warmth surrounding me that I couldn't explain. Groggily, a few groans escaped my lips while I struggled to wake myself the rest awake. My curtains were pulled back and it was with annoyance that I remembered I hadn't shut them last night. 

...Nor had I gotten into bed.

I jolted up; flinging blankets in all directions. My sleep shorts were hanging on my hips, and I was notably shirtless. Someone had changed me. And put me in bed.

A fierce blush warmed my face as I glanced around sharply; hoping no one ended up hiding in the shadows of my room. Though it wouldn't surprise me. 

I swung my legs off the bed, my feet touching the cold floor with a flinch. The courtyard just outside my window was covered in snow. It was blizzarding down in waves upon waves, spiraling in the currents of wind. Even in this time of year, this much snow was very unusual; irking my curiosity and then proceeding to being shoved back into the far edge of my mind. I could think about it later. For now I needed to know just how I ended up in clothes that I didn't put on myself. 

A knock interrupted my thoughts. It was short; but hard, and the fact I hadn't heard footsteps approaching suggested it was none other than the light footed man who so often was able to sneak up on me. "Yes?"

"Are you awake?"

I chuckled. "No."

The door pushed open anyway and a curly, dark furred wolf stepped into my room. His glasses were slightly askew on his long muzzle, his green dress shirt untucked from his dark blue jeans. "Morning." 

"Luke." I replied, rubbing my eye again. "How can I help you?"

"Your father requested your attendance. He is about to leave back to Idris." 

This time I groaned out of annoyance. No way did I want to be woken just to go be insulted again. "When?"

"Within the hour."

I nodded. Luke stepped out of the room, pulling the door closed like he could sense my thoughts. Quickly I searched my room for my dark pants, and slid them on after removing my shorts. Next a shirt. Not that I had much variance in my wardrobe anyway. Dryly I pretended to pick through things the way my sister did, before finally dragging out a short sleeved grey shirt and putting it on. 

An image of an injured Jace came to mind and I felt my heart stop at the reminder. Staying here and ignoring my father was not an option. I had to go see Jace, and if I did Robert would find me anyway. It couldn't be helped.

The trek down to the portal was unpleasant. The air was tense everywhere and no one would look at me as I passed. News of Jace being injured must have spread. Me being his Parabatai, it made me look like I wasn't paying attention to him when he was in danger, and that was not something I wanted people to think. The Clave was already on short tempers with me due to all the arguing with my parents and I; not to mention if they had decided to tell them about my preferences...

I snarled. That decision wasn't anyone's but mine. They should not be allowed to say I can or can't do something. How was it any different than Isabelle sneaking out to party? Or Jace dragging home people all the time? There weren't any rules about that.

"Alec,"

My surprise was evident as I stopped; my walk turning into a jump and a shriek leaving my lips when a hand promptly yanked my tail and tugged me backwards a few paces. 

"Are you gonna stop being an angsty kid and answer me?" They laughed. 

I turned my head, blushing angrily. "Don't pull on my tail!" 

The tall, thin wolf behind me finally released my limb and strode up so we were walking evenly with each other. "So? Have you seen Jace today?"

I flinched at the reminder. "No. I have to go see my father and then I'm going to check on him."

"Isabelle said he was stable when I saw her."

"I would hope so. Seeing how I had a distinct lack of midnight visits saying my brother had died."

"True." The wolf's red eyes glanced down at me; his lips twitching in a smirk. 

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

With a shake of his head he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets-which were wide given the old style of it. 

"You were totally about to say something, Damien." I continued, leaning over to him with my eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Come on. Out with it."

Damien laughed again and shook his head. "Nope."

I gave him a tch before pulling back and picking up my pace. It was fairly early so it didn't surprise me to not see anyone out and about, but what did surprise me was the lack of noise. Even in their rooms the younger Shadowhunters found ways to be impossibly noisy; which I still didn't understand. 

Damien followed at my side until I reached the library, where my father was probably waiting for me. He gave me an encouraging look before he turned and headed back the way we had come from, and I watched him go for a moment before taking a deep breath to gather myself. 

My first step into the library was unbelievably loud; and every occupant of it turned eyes to me sharply. My brain ignored them to note a lack of certain ones I needed to see.

"Where is Robert?" I asked loudly. I shifted my weight so both my feet were next to each other as I glanced around the room. Hodge was not there either.

One of the younger boys bounded up the stairs and approached me. His eyes were a stunned coal colour; his hair long and blonde around light cream fur. White markings were framing his eyes and nose. I didn't recognize him, so I shied away from his hand that reached toward me. He was thin- lanky- but much taller than me and therefore he intimidated me. Tall people were always stronger than they looked.

"Where's Hodge?" I asked. 

The boy sheepishly smiled and dipped his head. His orange ears twitched embarrassedly. "He told me to direct you to him when you got here." 

"So where is he?" I repeated, narrowing my eyes. 

My arm was grasped lightly and suddenly I was being forced from the room by the tiger. He gave a quick look at the others in the room just before shutting the doors behind us. My tail flicked with irritance. "Are you gonna tell me where he is?" 

The tiger stopped and spun me to face him. His eyes had turned oddly harsh and I flinch away as his grip too became such. "I told you I'd take you there didn't I?" I opened my mouth to answer but he interrupted me. "He's in the Infirmary. He told me-" his hand tightened again when I made a move toward the indicated place. "-to go with you in case he needed you escorted out again." 

I scoffed, ears flattening. "Okay. Fine. Then lead the way, by all means." 

The boy's face flashed with hurt for just a second. "I'm Jason." 

"...Alec." 

The corners of Jason's mouth twitched and he tipped his head slightly. "I know." 

Well, this was getting awkward quick.

"Right." He finally let go of my arm and instantly I propelled myself past him down the hall that would lead me to the Infirmary. Jason rushed to catch up; his slender frame made almost no noise as he touched the floor beneath him. I was a bit surprised that I had never seen him before; at some point in time I had had the pleasure of meeting each new Shadowhunter that was brought here. My eyes slid over to Jason suspiciously as we walked next to each other. Come to think of it... Maybe he did look a little familiar. Sort of like some Downworlders. 

I scoffed instantly. Tigers were common in the communities of fairies, vampires and warlocks, but it was impossible to pretend to be a Shadowhunter. That was a lost train of thought. 

At the door to the Infirmary I turned to the taller boy and stepped close to him. "If you're going to stand in here I suggest not speaking. Robert won't take kindly to that."

Jason's eyes widened slightly; weather it was from my harsh tone or the words themselves I didn't know. But he nodded and that was good enough for me.

The first thing I saw inside the room when we entered was the group of people standing at the counter where we kept the supplies. The second thing was Jace laying on his bed still; tail hanging seemingly lifeless off the edge of it. My heart jumped; adrenaline coursing from the panic I felt and immediately I flew across the room to his side. My hands lay on the edge of the bed just at his side but I was careful not to touch him. His wound was completely bandaged and devoid of any blood as far as I could tell so I allowed myself to let out a deep breath before more slowly taking in his appearance. 

"Alexander."

I ignored the voice of my father speaking my full name. I knew he was looking at me with grotesque disappointment; probably under the assumption that being gay meant I was in love with Jace. Tch. If he wanted his sons together so bad maybe I should be. 

"Alexander." My dad's tone was not leaving room for argument this time. Reluctantly, I gazed at him, and then removed my hands from Jace's bed with one final stroke of his hair. The flash of surprise and anger on my father's face made me feel triumph in the far reach of my chest. Hodge was standing beside Robert, arms behind his back casually, and as I approached he smiled ever so slightly with that parental gleam in his eyes I had come to know meant he was proud of my defiance. Finally I was standing up to him. 

Jason hovered back at the end of Jace's bed awkwardly shifting between feet when I finally stopped beside Robert. "When are you heading home?" I asked as politely as I could manage. 

"Once we are done here." Was the answer I received. "But I need to speak with you before that happens." 

I folded my arms stifly. "Then talk."

Robert's eyes darted to everyone else in the room slowly pausing on them before moving on to me. He craned his neck awkwardly; swallowing in a tense manner. "Right. Well..."

Hodge gave me a nervous look and adjusted his jacket collar with one hand. I nodded at him in response; awkwardly waiting for my father to get to the point. 

Finally Robert adjusted his jacket and cleared his throat. "Alec. Your mother wants me to bring you back to Idris."

I blinked. My ears flicked, standing up as if I had heard him wrong. "What?"

"She thinks that being around the Clave and under their watch almost constantly will help... Fix you."

"Fix me?" I snarled. My hands curled into fists and behind me I heard Jason shift closer. "What is that supossed to mean?"

"Well, with your...condition..."

Hodge looked between us with wide eyes. He took a step forward to intervene but I raised my hand in a silent signal for him to stop. I approached my father with slow steps as I tried to bring back down my anger. Jason was close on my heels. "My condition. Pray tell, what is wrong with me father?"

Robert narrowed his eyes at me, leaning away with a flick of his dark coloured tail as it fluffed in a threatening gesture. "Being gay is not natural, son, I think-"

"You think what?" I hissed. "That it's a phase or I'm just confused?" 

Robert looked offended, like I was the one insulting him. "Well yes! You can't expect me to believe that someone could actually be interested in people of the same gender without there being something wrong with them, or just wanting spite their parents, who's reputations would be shot if their son were found out because of a joke-"

The room resounded with a slap so loud I thought it had to have come from someone huge. My arm was drawn back, but it wasn't me that had moved. I looked at the hand hovering beside where my father's face had just been; my gaze going up the arm over my head and back to the man standing behind me. Jason's eyes were blazing with distaste and a rough hatred that looked out of place on him. His ears were trembling with restraint- as no doubt he hasn't used full force on Robert just now.

"Jason!" Hodge was the one who interrupted the silence. He made a move to help Robert stand, only to step back again when the dark furred man stood on his own; scowling at Jason. I sidestepped in front of him the rest of the way to block his path and he froze.

"Alexander. Move." He murmured angrily. "This kid needs to be taught a lesson."

Jason tensed behind me. I glared harder and shook my head. Robert scoffed. "Jason was sent here to make sure I didn't get into trouble with you. He was doing what he was told..." My eyes met Hodge's briefly. "More or less." 

"Alec-" 

I jabbed my elbow into Jason's stomach and he coughed but stopped speaking. My father shifted his weight onto his back foot, as he adjusts his jacket once more and looks me over slowly with disapproval. He opened his mouth to talk, but a disoriented gagging caught my attention and I whirled around; my ears standing on end. Jace was coughing and trying to wipe at his mouth; his blonde hair flopped back and his forehead was damp with sweat. "Jace!" Hodge and I spoke together but I moved alone to Jace's bedside. "Can you hear me?" I asked gently, grabbing some rags and wetting them from a basin of cold water on the bed table. I dabbed the cloth on his forehead; parting his fur around to make sure I cleaned it good. Jace blinked wearily but finally his eyes opened and stared at me. My heart jolted. 

"Alec?"

I continued to check him over for reopened wounds as he muttered incoherent comments about it being too hot- something about snow fairies, and then a long rant about warlocks. Behind me I heard Hodge whispering, telling Robert to leave me be and head on home. The harsh clicks of his dress shoes told me he was finally doing such and immediately I sighed.

"Anything I can do?" 

I looked up at the young tiger boy beside me. "I think I have it under control." I gave him a tense smile. "Thanks."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "For what?"

"Hitting my dad." I muttered as I peeled back one of Jace's bandages. "I don't think I would have been able to, and the conversation would have gotten worse."

Jason blushed slightly, smiling embarrassedly. "It was pissing me off. Does... He talk to you that way a lot?"

"Unfortunately yes." 

He reached up with one hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "Just... Because you're gay?" I nodded. "But you're an incredible Shadowhunter, and excellent at strategy, how does being gay affect that?"

"Good question." I laughed dryly. "I have no idea but apparently it does. Just like apparently me not liking girls means he and my mom aren't allowed to love me remotely." 

Jason frowned down at me. "That's hardly fair.. You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone."

"You'd be surprised."

"What does that mean?"

I flicked one of my ears, turning away to stare at the half audible Jace laying in front of me. Jason didn't say anything else, so he must have understood. Instead he circled around and took another stool to be opposite me and watched as I went about my check up. 

"I still don't think any of that is fair. It isn't their right to make rules like that.." 

I clicked my tongue and worked on re wrapping the wound in a new bandage. "They make the rules. We are just supossed to follow them. I just follow them." Jason tipped his head and frowned. My eyes flickered up to him and found a weird, unreadable emotion in his own. "What?"

He shrugged nervously, and one of his ears flopped like a kitten; bringing a snicker from my lips. He raised his eyebrows at me curiously. One of my hands waved dismissively and Jason smirked in a very cute way that shone with child like innocence. He wouldn't remain such for much longer. Not after his first real mission. Not after he had to kill so many demons. A lot of the young ones had a hard time after their first few missions. People like Jace- who were fearless and perfect and unafraid of anything- he came back ready for more and bouncing with excitement. Until his father had told him to not be so floundering. 

I blinked; realizing I had been staring, and forced my eyes away from the boy across from me. Jason didn't seem to have noticed though and was observing Jace on his own. The light coloured boy was looking much less sick although his words were still non understandable and slurred together in sentences that made no sense whatsoever. Jason chuckled and leaned forward onto his elbows. "So what does it feel like?" 

"Excuse me?" 

One of his orange and black striped fingers gestured to his chest, but his eyes directed to mine. I absentmindedly touched the rune under my clothes there; which now was peeking through the low v neck of the old shirt I wore. "Oh. The... Parabatai rune?" Jason nodded with enthusiasm. "They don't hurt if that's what you mean."

"Yeah but I heard that the Parabatai rune connects so much that.. Like, you get in pain when he is and stuff." 

I laughed. "That sounds far too romantic." 

"Isn't it." Jason sighed. He smiled dreamily like he was wrapped in his own fantasy and I raised an eyebrow at him. 

"...Someone on your mind?" I teased. 

The boy flushed and shrugged. He seemed so different than he had in the hallway- and even when he had protected me so defiantly. But the way his eyes slipped down to look at his hand, and flickered nervously to mine on Jace's leg, told me he was hiding something. 

"Who is she?" I asked. Jace stirred again and continued murmuring to himself nonsense about gummy bears. 

Jason shrugged again. "It's a little different than that... And I don't know if it is 'liking' so much as it is just admiration."

I patted Jace on the hip before standing and traveling across the room to look for some new pants to put on him. "But even so. That can quick escalate." I replied; unfolding a pair of hospital bottoms to examine. They were quickly put back; the colour was a terrible olive green. "Who is it?" I stepped up a small ladder that we had set nearby to reach the higher racks of supplies. Some blue pants were up there and I started searching for a correct size for Jace. 

I was about to ask another question when suddenly I felt a hand lightly on the small of my back, and I froze. Jason's fur brushed my ear and I inhaled sharply.

"Be careful." He murmured.

And then he was gone.


	2. King of Presumptions

After finding a pair of pajamas for my Parabatai, I tried to get him to change on his own, but of course the idiot wouldn't listen in his half awake mindset and so I had to figure it out myself. He didn't make it any easier or try to assist me at all, just sort of flailed around and murmured when I tried to reason with him. That didn't work either.

It wasn't for a long time that I thought about Jason again. And when I did, it was after I settled Jace in and had retreated to my room. Robert had already left no doubt, so I was I peace for now. My recallance of the words he had said wasn't totally sound but I remembered the way he looked around nervously and the way he had watched me when I reached for Jace. My initial thought was that, of course, he was probably interested in what I was doing and intrigued. I had planned to show him some things- having assumed he must be wanting to study medicine of some kind. 

That assumption didn't last long. 

I didn't expect it to. But I didn't have any other reasonable explanation. Maybe whoever he had been talking about liked medicine and he wanted to study briefly so he could help. The only girl right now doing much healing was Isabelle. The thought that maybe he was attracted to her crossed my mind and I pursed my lips slightly. Not that it was my place, but I didn't think they were a suitable pair. 

A knock interrupted my thoughts and made me flinch slightly; effectively knocking over my book I had laid on the bed beside me. It fell to the floor with a thud and I groaned as I reached over to grab it. "Come in." 

The door opened and I saw Isabelle frowning down at me. She spotted the book and then her expression seemed to change to understanding. Finally she stepped in and shut the door softly. She was wearing fading pajama pants and a soft looking blue shirt that was probably mine at one point or another. "What's up?" I asked once I had gotten the book back and folded my legs under me. I noticed her tail was bandaged up now, and didn't seem to be too badly injured, and a sound of relief escaped that I hadn't known I was waiting to let out. 

Isabelle sat on the edge of my bed and fidgeted for a moment. Unusual. She never got nervous. Her ears were stiff like she was trying not to shake, her fingers clenching each other. "Izzy?"

She turned to me carefully. "Alec, I heard about your fight with dad." 

I blinked. Who had told her?

"And..?" 

"I want you to tell me why you haven't said you're gay." She murmured. Her eyes flicked up; hard and forceful but with affection behind it. 

I felt my cheeks burn with shame and I looked away from her this time. She was watching me- I could feel it- and under her stare I couldn't bring myself to speak. The words were stuck in my throat, and I wanted to apologize for that too, but I had no excuses. It was with a strained swallow that I finally was able to respond with a feble 'I'm sorry'. Isabelle quirked one eyebrow sympathetically. "I didn't want to say anything, not because of the fact that I am, but- Jace-"

"You love him, right?"

My ears blushed instantly. Isabelle smirked at me and folded her arms. "I won't tell don't worry. But that's why you didn't say anything. Because you aren't supposed to have feelings for him."

Embarrassed, I ran a hand through my hair and gave a weak laugh in return. Leave it to Izzy to see right through me. "Yes. That's exactly it."

She grinned broader and bobbed her head slightly, as if she knew what I was thinking. She probably did. Isabelle was incredibly intuitive. "It isn't obvious, but it does make a lot of sense now." She commented. "And I guess in a way I can sort of see it."

"See it?" I asked, turning my head to eye her suspiciously. 

"Yeah. You just sort of... Give off gay vibes."

"Gay vibes."

Isabelle nodded.

"I'm not sure if I should be offended by that or not..."

"Don't be." She replied with a wave of her hand. "It makes sense to me, I can't really explain it."

I grinned toward her and lowered my ears, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed. "Well that's all that matters I guess." She nodded agreement. 

The next hour was spent like we used to. Before our parents were too busy, before I had "a problem", before all these secrets. We talked and laughed and she tickled me with the abandon of children. Not Shadowhunters. Not half angels. Not protectors of the world. Just two kids-two teenage siblings-who knew we were flawed, and had little assured time together.

+++++

When I woke up, Isabelle was gone and I was laid out on my bed under my covers. The sun was trying to claw through my drapes, and with a disgruntled noise I stood up to go and peek out to find out the time roughly. 

Down below, I saw Hodge with Damien and a few other of the young Shadowhunters in the light snow that remained from yesterday and was still falling now. Today was when Isabelle would start 'teaching'. This must be her class, I decided as I glanced over their weapon racks.

Damien was standing a bit apart from the group, rubbing his chin like he was deep in thought. Except for an occasional blink I would never have guessed he was actually conscious. A girl in the group ran over to him and gripped onto his arm; smiling and laughing and Damien slowly came out of his daze to give her a weak smile. They followed the others across the courtyard, but Hodge remained where he was. 

It didn't occur to me until several moments later that something was up. This wasn't just a training day. The kids were all sporting rather large bags like they were learning to camp. Which (while sometimes a very valuable asset for us) didn't seem quite right to me. I narrowed my eyes; suspicion sinking in. 

Hodge stayed in his spot for awhile. He almost shifted nervously, eyeing the place for watchers. Luckily my room was hard to see from where he was. 

I stepped away from the window only to begin getting dressed in my gear- feeling like I should go down there. My vest had been laid on a chair by the fireplace and I retrieved it with hoping steps as I tried to get my pants on quickly. 

An indistinct voice made my ears turn back to the window. It was impossible to tell what was being said, but I could tell I didn't know it off the top of my head. In the back of my mind I wondered if it was a Clave member- here to get me because of something my father had told them. The thought made me squirm uncomfortably. 

I walked back to the window and looked out carefully. Hodge was standing beside a carriage, where a figure in all black was leaned out. I could see just enough to tell he was speaking, shaking his head animatedly with an occasional smirk. The face was an odd yellow furred- with wide fangs and a long snout that suggested he was a wolf. Finally Hodge shut the door and the carriage rolled away with clicks and clanks. 

The sudden realization that the man had come in a carriage of all things made me frown. Things that didn't make since kept coming up this morning, it seemed.

+++++

With my father out of the Institute I was free to do as I wanted once again, without worry of being summoned for a surprise meeting or a sudden insult fest. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

I did a quick check on Jace before heading to find Jason. He was supposed to meet me for a knife fighting lesson over an hour ago- while I was at the Infirmary- but he had never shown up to get me. None of the other younger Shadowhunters who were still here had seen him either so I had no leads.

Except for one.

The library door cracked loudly on it's old hinges as I pushed it open, and my feet echoed on the ground as I stepped across the landing to the left staircase. I made no effort to hide my presence even when I spotted Jason sitting on his haunches under the statue of the Angel Raziel. 

"Jason you're late." I snapped; trying to sound authorative since I was the only teacher here right now. "Are you coming?" 

Jason glanced over at me and smiled. "Good morning."

"That doesn't answer my question." I responded. Jason sighed, standing slowly to his feet and coming to my side hesitantly. I eyed him obviously to let him know I was waiting for him to get ready.

"Alec, maybe we shouldn't do lessons today."

"Don't be stupid. Lessons have only started today. Isabelle took her class to the forest for survival lessons and I have weapons classes all day since Jace can't teach his. I'm already behind- don't you give me that look." I added a firm tone to the last part and Jason smirked at me with a flicker of his tail in response.

"Fine, teacher. I'll come with you."

I gave him a tip of my chin proudly and then adjusted my shirt. "Good. To the practice room. Now." 

"Yes sir." He laughed.

+++++

The practice room was huge- made to appear more so now that most the things we stored in here were with Isabelle and her class. I saw Jason admiring the many cases of swords and bow staffs; even reaching out to touch a few through the glass. His fingers were gentle on it like he thought any movement would shatter it, and I couldn't help but watch the awe spread on his face. 

"These are quite.. Beautiful weapons." He murmured.

I folded my arms behind my back and casually stood by him. "They were fashioned from the best materials available. But no one uses them much anymore."

"A shame." Jason replied. "I would love to see them in use." He cast me a glance and I narrowed my eyes at him in a hesitant response.

"You and Jace both." I decided to counter with, snorting as casual as I could. The tiger flinched at the words though. "..He used to try and use them when we would train together. I always caught him though and got him to put them away."

Jason turned and paced away from the glass with precise motions until he was back beside me in the center of the room. "I imagine it isn't very hard for you to persuade people to do anything, what with certain aspects of yourself." 

"Um," I attempted to dispel the awkward feeling between us by looking to the rack that held the wooden rods we fought with; picking two up and tossing one to him. He caught it easy and spun away once more. He stopped on the edge of the floor's intricate rune design before looking back at me with an uncharacteristic smile. "I'm not sure what you mean by that..." I murmured as I took my position on the side opposite him. My hands gripped the wood tightly, twisting with anticipation and the desire to spar. It had been awhile since Jace and I had had a chance to do such, so I was eager to get this match going.

Jason took his in both his hands and gave it a few experimental twists before jutting it out toward me- an extension of his arm that held threats and I shuddered at the sudden bloodlust in the boy's eyes.

"Your eyes."

"What?"

Jason tipped his head. He bent his knees into more of a fighting stance and balanced the spear more usefully before nodding at me as if to say he was ready. My ears laid back uncertainly but he was right. We had wasted enough time as is; it was time to fight.

I started to step sideways- my feet stepping over each other as I traced the circle on the floor. Jason began to mimick my movement with his eyes on mine. He didn't waver but his ears were twitching and turning and flickering with the anticipation I was used to seeing in younger Shadowhunters. This was his first time fighting me, after all. And if he knew me as well as was implied yesterday, then he must be a bit nervous to feel my gained fighting skills actually turned on him.

He didn't seem like he would make the first attack anytime soon-probably a wise reservation-he must be more of a defense than offense. Using this knowledge I checked his feet for openings for a short attack. He had his spear lowered just enough that if I moved to his knees with my foot or weapon, he could easily knock me off balance. That was well thought out on his part. Being so tall he knew he needed to keep his legs guarded as they were his weak point. 

"Good thinking." I murmured. He raised an eyebrow but didn't speak back and we continued circling for several more moments before I saw his stance drop considerably from guarded to annoyed, impatient, bored. 

And I took the chance.

Jason stumbled as he tried to get out of the way of my sudden jab toward him. The end of my spear nicked his elbow and I allowed myself a grin. "You need to watch your sides." 

As the words escaped my mouth Jason growled and his tail lashed wickedly behind him. "You shouldn't get so cocky." He gasped back. His right hand released the end of the weapon and he used his left to twirl it once; taking three quick steps forward to close the space between us. Unforunately for him I had a feeling he would do that. It was easy for me to sidestep and come up beside him, knocking his weapon with a tense press against his elbow pressure point. Jason let out a shocked noise between a gasl and groan as his spear clattered to the ground, and the pain showed obviously on his face as I continued to press. A swift kick to the back of his knee sent him to the ground on the hand I didn't have and his knees. 

"Maybe you weren't made for fighting." I muttered. "That was easier than I expected."

Jason huffed and glared up at me. "You're more used to this than me."

I nodded absentmindedly. I let go of him and let him get feeling back before reaching down again to help him up.

"It's fine. It was your first time. I forgot that until classes start you guys don't get any instruction or practice." Jason laughed as he took the hand.

"Yeah, I'm not as natural at it as you are." 

I blinked. "I'm hardly a natural fighter."

He shrugged. As he climbed to his feet he began to dust off his pants and sighed with another laugh. Instead of speaking I waited for him to explain, only to receive his eyes meeting mine for a brief moment. Jason closed two steps between us. His hand reached up and rubbed at my left ear soothingly; eyes still watching mine with a calculation I wasn't sure I liked. But I couldn't bring myself to look away and apparently he couldn't either because he didn't make any indication he planned to. The smile slowly dropped from his lips as he once again moved closer. His other hand cupped my face fluidly underneath my hair, one finger pushing up my bangs slightly. 

"Um.. Jason.." 

The tiger Shadowhunter swallowed. The look in his eye changed like he was seeing me for the first time. 

"Sorry." He breathlessly answered. 

I shook my head and pulled myself away from him forcefully. "It's fine. Um, I guess I'll see you tomorrow for lessons again. If you see Camden remind him we changed his time?" Jason nodded distractedly. "Thanks."

Jason smiled sheepishly, more like himself once again. "No problem Alec."


End file.
